Your Group: The Baltimore Ravens
Your 2025 file: 8-9, with all that suggests.
Your coach: Not John Harbaugh. For the primary time in 18 years, Not John Harbaugh will lead the Baltimore Ravens to regardless of the hell it’s they are going to do. The presence of Not John Harbaugh on the helm marks a elementary and radical departure from the previous, primarily as a result of the Ravens have had solely two coaches of their final quarter century. They reasonably fancy themselves the Pittsburgh Steelers, who’re coached by Not Mike Tomlin.
Your quarterback: That is Lamar Jackson, who’s both the best quarterbacking expertise ever wasted by any workforce, or a superb quarterback who can’t win—and even arrive at—the large one. Your mileage could range on this relying in your view of working quarterbacks who take common beatings, particularly ones who carry out as many designed runs as Jackson does. That put on and tear price him 4 weeks final 12 months, first with a hamstring and later with a knee challenge that rendered him borderline ineffective over the ultimate seven weeks. John Harbaugh was blamed partially for not determining the best way to maximize Jackson’s skills, which is a major cause why the coach is now Not John Harbaugh. He could have some swell concepts on that entrance, however Jackson is 29 now and quarterbacks along with his threat evaluation ranges and rising damage historical past don’t usually get higher with out alterations to his fashion.
What’s new that sucks: Properly, perhaps we begin with Not John Harbaugh, or as he’s recognized across the Thanksgiving desk, Jesse Minter. Minter has been a Ravens assistant earlier than and was the defensive coordinator for the Los Angeles Chargers the previous two seasons. That is his first head teaching job wherever. That c.v. is about as meh because it sounds, and is fascinating largely for the truth that the Chargers are coached by Jim Harbaugh, who can also be not John Harbaugh however is nearer than most. Minter was additionally with Harbaugh at Michigan earlier than that, so this clearly signifies that proprietor Steve Bisciotti can’t stop the Harbaughs chilly, or a minimum of that the method will take a couple of years of withdrawals.
Minter has been assigned to repair a crummy protection that allowed 354 yards per sport a 12 months in the past and third-highest factors whole in franchise historical past—which solely began in 1996 regardless of the Ravens having been the Cleveland Browns earlier than that. In the event you depend these Browns groups, it’s nonetheless the fourth-highest factors whole allowed in franchise historical past. That is why they made such a run at Las Vegas’ model of Galactus, Maxx Crosby, after which bailed when it occurred to them that two first-round picks in trade for an injured Raider was too scary a prospect to finish. They had been savaged for their very own chilly toes, even after they confirmed their followers a brand new pair of socks named Trey Hendrickson.
Both manner, the rancid protection is how Minter obtained the gig, and why Jackson and the lopsided offense—which is to say RB Derrick Henry, largely—are largely the accountability of former Bears OC Declan Doyle. We won’t say for positive that smash mouth soccer is off the menu in Attraction Metropolis, however Doyle straightened out the kinks in Caleb Williams, which is to say defensive linemen stopped standing on Williams’s chest in Chicago. So one can hope, if that is one’s thought of productive work.
What has all the time sucked: Not all that a lot, fact be informed. For all his criticisms viz. Jackson, Harbaugh obtained a lot of the enterprise proper, making the playoffs 12 instances and successful a hoop for a city that’s nonetheless ready for Earl Weaver to handle the Orioles once more. However that form of résumé creates expectations, and for all their hanging round with the large children, their postseason résumé is form of feh; because the Tremendous Bowl win ending the 2012 season, they’ve reached just one convention ultimate, and that was after they realized that Gus Edwards was going to should change into Henry.
The entrance workplace below Eric DeCosta has been knocked round within the final 12 months or so, no extra so than after the Crosby fiasco, and if Minter does not hit the Maryland slush absolutely at tempo, Bisciotti may reveal that he is much less just like the jumbo lump model of the Rooneys and extra like Chesapeake Woody Johnson, and begin in search of heads to lop off on the first provocation. DeCosta has been in place for seven years, which is barely above common for govt tenure (Jerry Jones does not depend right here, for apparent causes.) There isn’t any cause to consider that Bisciotti’s days as a affected person operator could also be over, but additionally we’ll see how laborious his endurance will get tried if issues truly begin to suck.
Need extra inside soccer? Properly, they do not have Professional Bowl heart Tyler Linderbaum any extra, as a result of Linderbaum went to Vegas in free company. Mix that loss with the Crosby non-trade, and that is two Professional Bowlers the Ravens let slip by their fingers and find yourself in Vegas. This marks the primary time the Raiders have gained a transaction since choosing up Wealthy Gannon through the early years of the Industrial Revolution. That undoubtedly does suck.
What may not suck: Jackson, clearly. Henry, indubitably. WR Zay Flowers, probably, which is why DeCosta signed him to a four-year $140 million deal that made him the fourth-highest paid receiver within the biz, and why a coaching camp collision that prompted him to seize his leg left the coaches fertilizing the bottom the place they stood. (Flowers is reportedly everyday.)
Not like Jackson and Henry, Flowers is simply 25. Presuming all of them keep wholesome, an offense that did not in 2025 may truly do in 2026. Additionally, there is a revamped line of defense constructed round Hendrickson and wholesome DT Nnamdi Madubuike, which if nothing else might hardly be worse than final 12 months’s mannequin. At the very least that is what they inform you once you’re too busy noticing Not John Harbaugh standing the place the coach normally stands.
HEAR IT FROM RAVENS FANS!
Frank:
Jesus Christ, what an offseason. Commerce for Maxx Crosby, solely to comprehend they may most likely want these picks since they will’t appear to barter a long run take care of one of the best offensive participant the workforce has ever had, solely to find out that he “failed a bodily” and ship him packing on a Southwest flight out of BWI. Yearly I’ve to listen to how this is among the finest run organizations within the league, but within the Lamar period we haven’t made it out the Convention. At the very least we now have a brand new teaching employees and new(ish) unis. In the event that they proceed to blow leads I’ll have to surrender.
Jason:
You actually don’t should pressure that onerous to think about a cybertruck lined in that silly purple camo sample
Alex:
In a 12 months when the sector objective distance file was getting damaged each different week and 41 12 months previous Nick Folks was setting private distance information, we one way or the other changed our intercourse offender kicker with the one rookie who cannot kick it greater than 40 yards.
Matt:
I knew the Ravens weren’t gonna do shit final season when John Harbaugh in his infinite knowledge, determined to go to Trump on the White Home. So I wasn’t shocked when Tyler Loop went far proper to finish their season in opposition to the Steelers.
After the Buffalo sport the place the Ravens blew a 40-25 lead within the fourth quarter, I began betting in opposition to the Ravens within the fourth quarter each time they performed in opposition to a workforce that had a pulse. I made $600 betting on the Patriots and the Steelers moneyline regardless of the Ravens having double digit leads in each video games within the fourth quarter.
Joe:
Look, I’ve to begin by a minimum of giving credit score to Eric Decosta and Steve Bisciotti for doing what they need to have finished about 8 years in the past and eventually dumping Eric’s neighbor as the top coach. Manner manner manner too lengthy did they let the blown 4th quarter leads, childish clock administration, and normal Harbaugh scows get away with squandering expertise. The White Home journey final 12 months was the shit icing on the sewage cake. Get pleasure from NYC John, you wannabe Stan Smith knockoff
I take slightly little bit of satisfaction in figuring out I used to be a season ticket holder for actually the worst Ravens dwelling season in workforce historical past. I’ve solely been a season ticket holder for five years, I’d assume you’ll have wanted 10 or 15 to see that degree of bullshit
On my forty second birthday, I obtained to look at Cooper Rush seem like Uncle Rico in opposition to the Texans. I left that sport partway by the third quarter, which was the one good factor to occur to me on the day of my start. The Ravens scored a TD as quickly as I left, in order that was most likely a cosmic signal that I sucked shit for watching this workforce on my birthday.
Sashi Brown is Charlie Brown kicking the soccer if he thinks the NFL is ever going to deliver the NFL draft to Baltimore. The stadium upgrades are…one thing. At the very least we’re speculated to get greater loos? However no person is ever going to willingly take a look at Baltimore and say “Now THERE’s a metropolis we’re excited to function within the nationwide highlight!”. And that is coming from somebody who LOVES Baltimore and consistently will get into pointless on-line arguments with shitty county people who declare “In the event you step foot in Baltimore, you get murdered!” Baltimore isn’t a vacationer metropolis, and no person is giving us a giant pageant (I’m taking a look at you too, Orioles)
The workforce’s social media completely fawned over Steve Bisciotti making his personal draft choose, I assume they conveniently forgot how silly it was that Robert Irsay used to attempt to name in performs from the proprietor’s field. Cool story, however why don’t we depart the draft choosing to the GM (who by the way in which completely determined that Maxx Crosby wasn’t a superb funding and backed out of the commerce…however actually thank god as a result of ever since, he appears like an absolute headcase)
The brand new uniforms look cool although.
Kurt:
Final 12 months, the Ravens/Rams sport fell on my son’s tenth birthday. I raised him mistaken, so he is a big soccer fan and wished nothing greater than to go. I purchased tickets for me, him, my brother and nephew within the nosebleed seats earlier than the season started as a result of expectations had been excessive and I did not need to miss out on 4 seats collectively. I paid near $500 to barely be within the stadium, however this is able to be value it for the recollections.
Two weeks earlier than the sport, earlier than we let my son know we had tickets, we’re over my brother’s watching Chiefs/Ravens when all of the sudden Cooper Rush enters the sport for the Ravens. The digital camera cuts to Lamar engaged on his hamstring on the sideline with a therapeutic massage gun. I grasp my head, then shoot a look to my brother who’s stifling laughter. We each already knew.
Lamar missed the following sport because the Ravens obtained shellacked by Houston, and the writing was already on the wall for him to overlook the Rams sport because it was the sport earlier than the bye. Because the week goes on we obtained the patented Harbaugh Glimmer of Hope, however come Saturday he was dominated out but once more. The 4 of us piled into my brother’s van the following day, all of us in Lamar jerseys, with all the thrill of going to a funeral.
It was cloudy and windy on the stadium, and never notably full since everybody noticed what occurred the prior week. Cooper Rush flapped concerning the subject like a fish on the deck of a ship, and by halftime we had been all brazenly calling for Tyler Huntley to be within the sport. At one level the Ravens made all of it the way in which to the Rams 1 yard line, and obtained stuffed on 4 straight makes an attempt to attain. A reminder: this workforce employs Derrick Henry, and nonetheless could not transfer the soccer three extra toes. The Ravens had been held out of the tip zone that day for the one and solely workforce all season.
Anyway, mission achieved on creating recollections for my son. He nonetheless had a blast, and on the way in which out stated “I’ve by no means seen them rating a landing in individual. Now I’ve a cause to return to a different sport!” Subsequent time I will wait to purchase the tickets till the week of the sport.
Fuck John Harbaugh, man. He’s about to get eaten alive in New York as soon as they notice how massive a fraud he’s. He by no means gained something with out Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, or Lamar Jackson propping him up.
Eamonn:
Jesus, the place to begin. With “parting methods” with probably the most profitable fashionable coaches within the fashionable period? Who then raided the cupboard of gamers on the way in which out? He even took the fucking punter! That’s a degree of petty like stealing the batteries out of each distant once you finish a relationship. I reside in New York and all the time benefit from the Giants sucking, however now I’ve to actively hate them for being Ravens North.
Or the Maxx Crosby non-trade, which I used to be enthusiastic about, as a result of I’m an fool, after which defended the walkback, as a result of I’m an asshole, which has most likely wrecked the workforce’s trustworthiness for a decade?
Or that I’m nonetheless undecided we even have 5 offensive linemen on the roster? Nice technique for a run-first workforce with a legendarily cellular QB to take a position roughly tree-fiddy within the O-line!
Can’t even be the AFC North workforce that doesn’t have a rapist on the workforce after Ozzie left and final years draft. We’re gonna collapse just like the fucking bridge within the harbor this 12 months
Mike:
We’ll be up three scores within the fourth quarter each single week and my spouse will calmly chime in “Let’s have a look at how they fuck this one up.” She will get this workforce.
Kenneth:
The opening and shutting video games of 2026 had been the proper Harbaugh expertise: the expertise and execution hovering excessive, majestically even and one way or the other, crash the touchdown in essentially the most spectacular and predictable trend, that even leaves Pete Carroll skeptical over it.
Luke:
A statistic I heard is that the Ravens have blown 10 double digit leads within the second half up to now six seasons. No different workforce has finished that greater than 7 instances. So thank God Harbaugh’s gone. Let’s have a look at if Minter could make these guys un-choke.
Sadly, we nonetheless haven’t any heart, so even when we do one way or the other make it to the Tremendous Bowl, Aaron Donald goes to run over the corpse of Ethan Pocic, strip-sack Lamar (who will now not be capable to run away on his banged-up knees and ankles), and provides him a career-ending concussion within the course of.
Carlos:
Any line of considering that is not resignation over Lamar by no means successful a hoop so long as he’s with us is delusional considering and I worry I’m in a lot delusion I ought to be in a psych ward. Harbaugh pissed away his prime, the workforce has a extreme allergy to not fucking up within the fourth quarter, he barely desires to be on this metropolis in any case and the league has already found out the best way to comprise him. Whats the purpose anymore.
If groups obtained rings for “ought to have gained” playoff victories we might have a minimum of 5.
Edward:
Having moved to Seattle a couple of decade in the past, I’ve needed to watch the ravens waste Lamar Jackson’s prime from afar however was by no means extra upset than when the offensive playcalling price us the AFC Championship sport in opposition to the Chiefs a couple of years in the past. I saved considering “Man the protection was insane although and spent mainly an additional quarter on the sector whereas nonetheless staying sturdy! Our Defensive Coordinator might be going someplace else.”, which is all a prelude to saying it was nice seeing Mike MacDonald hoist the Lombardi through the parade.
How did we signal actually Derrick Henry and nonetheless neglect to run the ball in shut video games for the final two years? At the very least Giants followers haven’t got to fret about Skattebo getting injured too usually.
Paul:
Utilizing a crabhammer with an excessive amount of drive, remodeling shell into shrapnel, is a primal pleasure. Alas, repeated smashing leaves a multitude of meat that’s one way or the other concurrently pulpy and sharp. That is what Lamar’s legs seemed like by week 4 of final season. Our offensive line goes to be even worse this 12 months.
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